Eventually..

     If I could describe myself in three words, it would be sarcastic, bitter & cynical. I don't think I can be labelled as funny, smart, outgoing, fun to be with etc.

    Looking at this blog, it feels like I used to possess an iota of humour back then. Somehow it eludes me now, so I'm going to make an attempt hereafter to get it back.

   Eventually.. it used to be a favourite word with me. Back during school, each year went with the hope that somehow, next year I'll get smarter in Math, and I won't make horrendous mistakes in exams. It just wasn't happening.. I got better at Math, but I got more and more stressed out before exams, that my mistakes just kept getting worse. Finally when I was this 'solves problem in one minute' genius in Math, I ditched it, after Tenth, simply because I couldn't stand Math exams.

   To be honest, I miss Math. Statistics these days, doesn't make up for it. But, one thought of Math exams, and everything else vanishes.

   Now it was the point of choosing my career. When my plus two results were expected to arrive. I was all like ' Just let me get good marks at this, life will be settled and somehow I'll get through college and get a job.' 

   Oh boy.. was I ever more mistaken!!

   Then came college.. I hated studying Medicine. I wasn't one of those with the adjustment problems, which get settled in a few years. I hadn't realised that at first. I just thought people go through this most of the time, and eventually I might grow to like it as well. 

  Wrong again!!

   I could never bring myself to like Medicine, that even when I was about to finish, my mum was wondering which subject I would be good at. All through my Undergrad years, I kept telling myself, 'Just let college get over, eventually things will work out.'

   I think the tale gets predictable after this. Then came the entrance preparation. Obviously I hated it, I was all like, 'Just let me get a decent rank..I'll sort through the rest of my life'.  I must digress at this point..for this quote

                                          

   Needless to say, I still have a few qualms during post graduation, though mostly I'm used to it..and I've realised that it has helped me in many ways, to make me a better person. Most of all, I've left the habit of saying Eventually..eventually things are going to get better.

   Now is the point when people have started asking me when I am going to get married. I haven't figured out an answer to that till now. Unlike before, I don't wistfully look at my friends' wedding pictures, longing for the same. Some of my friends have kids in their pre-school years even. I'm having fun, the way I am now. 

    So.. hence forth, no eventually.. No saying that things will get better if I get married and have kids. No saying that I'll just pass my masters exam and get a job.. and life will get easier.

    When I started this post, I expected it to be funny.. it isn't..I guess.. 

    Hope I get back in tune.. eventually